“Roy Spivey”

Please take your seats to ensure an on-time departure.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached

our cruising altitude.

How long have we been in the air?

About an hour, I think.

I always like to let men see me asleep

early on in our relationship.

Keeps them from being intimidated by my height.

May I offer you some mixed nuts, Mr Spivey?

Thank you so much.

They're warm, they actually took the time

to heat these up before they brought them to us.

I take it you don't fly first class very often.

It's actually sort of weird when they're warm,

sort of strange.

Yeah, you're right.

No, no, no. I wasn't--

Hey there. I was just wondering,

would it be possible for us to get unheated nuts?

Janet, really prefers her nuts--

No, no, no. I -- it doesn't matter to me.

I really just want these.

Okay, we'll keep these nuts.

But could we each have a second bowl

at 68 degrees Fahrenheit?

Oh course. I'm so sorry about that.

What's the point of paying

four times the regular fair for first class

if you can't get your nuts at the correct temperature?

I didn't pay for first class.

Are you a first class interloper?

No, I just gave up my seat

on an over-booked flight earlier

and then they upgraded me on this one.

So you didn't even pay for those nuts.

You do realize that I'm going to have to take the other nuts

when they do come, too.

I know who you are.

Would you like a nut, Janet?

(light guitar music)

Everything you've read in the tabloids is true.

Oh yeah. It's mostly about eating disorders.

But the affairs?

No, not the affairs. You can't believe the bloids.

We call them bloids, or tab.

Don't judge me. This is what you've become

when you spend too much time in L.A.

Just promise me one thing, Janet.

I'd never go back if I didn't have to.

But you don't have to do anything.

You're famous, the whole world knows who you are.

What else could you possibly want?

I don't have an Oscar. I'd like an Oscar.

Okay, but then what?

No an Oscar it is.

Or an EGOT. That's when you win an Emmy, a Grammy,

and an Oscar and a Tony.

What about you, what do you want?

Oh, well I want everything.

(both laugh lightly)

Of course you do.

Sometimes, I just stop walking

right in the middle of the room,

just to see if I can start again. And I never can.

Once I've stopped I can't generate the momentum

to eat or clean or sleep.

If it's in public then usually

someone will say something to me

and out of embarrassment I can move.

But when I'm at home, the longer I stand there

the longer I have to stand there.

And I just cannot stop standing there

in the middle of the room.

Let me see what you look like.

When you're sleeping.

You're right. I do feel less intimidated now.

I'll be right back.

You're leaving me. Mhm.

What happened to your skirt?

My armpits are smelly, and I tried to wash them

so you wouldn't notice but then I got water on my skirt

so I put water on the whole thing

so you wouldn't notice that.

(Laughs) And were you able to wash it out?

Are they smelly? I think so.

I can smell them to tell you.

It's okay, it's part of the showbiz.

Really? Yeah, here.

(Sighs) I tried to wash it.

Oh, I've heard about that.

It dries in seconds, takes everything with it.

It's best if you hold them up until it dries.

I sat next to Jason Kidd on an airplane once.

You're telling me I'm not your first?

No, we didn't talk that much.

I did ask him why he didn't sit in first class.

He said his cousin worked for United.

His cousin works for United?

Oh! What was that?

That means I like you.

You want to bite me? No.

You don't like me? No, I do.

Well is it because I'm famous?

Just because I'm famous

doesn't mean that I need what everyone else needs.

Here, bite me. Anywhere.

How about my shoulder.

I had a really amazing time with you.

My people are going to be waiting for me out there--

Yeah I know, that's okay.

Like honestly-- no it's really not, it's a travesty.

Here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to write down a number

and I want you to get on with your life.

This is my kid's nanny's personal line.

The only people who call her on this are

her boyfriend and her son so she'll always answer it

and you'll always get through.

(coughs) And she'll know where I am.

It's missing a digit.

I want you to just memorize the last number okay?

(light music continues)

Keagan, Lily, you have four minutes to take it outside.

Okay, okay, what hospital did they take her to?

Okay we're on our way.

Tell her to hold on until we get there.

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